Episode 30 – 2016 Predictions

In which our heroes discuss which celebrity will die first in 2016, review the ongoing war effort and give Dan dating tips.

Here is a link to the quiz what we done: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-30500372

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Episode 29 – 2015 Review

In which our heroes say what was the best stuff of 2015, declare war on another podcast and listen to the drunken ramblings of a pair of morons.

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Episode 28 – Circumcision Ambulance

In which our heroes discuss the colours of supermarkets, Graham drones on about San Andreas for ages, Adam gets radicalised and Dan learns about opposites.

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Episode 27 – Pyjamify This Top

In which our heroes launch the 2015 Two Star Podcast Christmas Advert, Dan wanks off dolphins with an eel, Graham transplants monkey testicles onto humans and Adam thinks about midgets.

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Episode 26 – A Totally Offensive Individual

In which our heroes endanger their lives with meat. Graham interacts with bigots, Adam moans about Windows 10 and Dan thinks about Muppet sex.

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Episode 25 – Outraging Public Decency

In which our heroes have a 40 minute gak-wank in a pub, Adam moans about Youtubers, Dan finds a wonderful R Kelly cover and Graham alienates Belgium.

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Episode 23 – Rapid Response Priest Team

In which our heroes bootleg Ribena, Graham has a genuinely good idea for a film, Adam finds love at Ashley Madison and Dan is infested by lizards.

 

Oh, I forgot. Here’s the link to the zombie tin can video life hack thing in case you care:
http://diply.com/lance2015/did-you-know-you-can-open-cans-without-a-can/163008

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Episode 22 – Shisgust

In which our heroes pilot an exciting new quiz show format, Adam becomes an illegal migrant, Dan is kidnapped and made to go fishing, and Graham eats crisps.

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Episode 20 – A Journey of Terror

In which our heroes are bored by a computer game trailer, Adam teaches us about the world of My Little Pony fandom, Graham plays the worst song ever recorded and Dan makes cake in a mug.

If there’s something wrong with you and you want to see the links referenced in this episode then fill your boots:

Concentration Camp Ponies:
https://twitter.com/mlp_txt/status/600896363832942592

Pony Lube:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/224376017/pony-up-personal-lubricant-scented?ref=shop_home_active_1

Horrific Filth (DO NOT CLICK ON THIS):

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/12/okay_umsome_dude_accidentally_boiled_a_my_little_p.php

 

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Episode 19 – Eating Beef Bacon

In which our heroes finally cook and eat beef bacon and the world’s most Yorkshire man turns up for no reason that’s any of your business, if I invite strangers into my house while I record a podcast then that’s up to me. Get off my case. My daughter talks on it too because I couldn’t be arsed to edit it. Just be glad we’ve even bothered to do this episode you bunch of bloody ingrates.

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Episode 18 – Daniel Mercer Memorial Episode

In which our heroes get progressively more drunk, Graham asks which rapper likes which crisps, Adam desperately tries to talk to everyone about Fast & Furious and Dan dies in a motorway pile up

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Episode 9 – Politics Or Bollocktics

In which our heroes break out the emergency backup episode number while they desperately try and get good enough for Episode 17, do a diamond heist and Dan incessantly types and clicks his mouse in the background, despite having been repeatedly told not to

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Episode 16 – Suck Your Mum Rudeboy

In which our heroes do some minty farts, give a fan advice on how to woo the object of his desire and make soup out of ladybirds

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Episode 15 – Horrible Circumcision Accident

In which our heroes become the new hosts of Top Gear, talk at great length about poo and Dan purchases an award winning B&B in Abergavenny

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KICK OUR BEEF

Hey podfans! Our Kickstarter thing is now LIVE and you can help us achieve our dream of eating beef bacon! Pledge £50 and Dan will nosh you off! (Kickstarter don’t let you put sex acts as official pledge rewards which is stupid really, considering that’s the ultimate goal of anyone using Kickstarter to back any project of any kind.)

THIS IS A LINK TO THE KICKSTARTER THING, YOU CAN CLICK ON IT IF YOU LIKE BUT DON’T FEEL OBLIGED, I MEAN YOU ONLY GET THIS FUCKING PODCAST FOR FREE EVERY BLOODY FORTNIGHT (OR THEREABOUTS)

Episode 14 – Press Gang Special

In which our heroes unearth a rare recording of the lost Scottish edition of Fun House, Dan fries an egg for a stranger off the Internet and Adam refuses to say anything other than “Mr. Milkshake wants to eat a yum yum”

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Episode 13 – 250,000 Pubes

In which our heroes have a wank in space, suck air into their bums and eat fourteen rolls of Sellotape
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Episode 12 – Antiwaffle

In which our heroes perform a play about bodybuilders doing maths, create some donut-hybrid confectionery and infiltrate & destroy the Scouts

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Episode 11 – Benda Blaster

In which our heroes fix the Oscars, give Dan his probation review and tickle some pigs
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Episode 10 – Beef Bacon

In which our heroes pull some pork, insert alarm clocks into their various orifices and commandeer a military submarine to enter and win the Americas Cup
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