Tag Archives: wanking

Episode 63 – Robotic Wanking Claw Part 2

In which our heroes take a lady hostage, exile Donald Trump to Mexico, catch a German swimmer with a fishing hook and discuss poo crumbs & robotic wanking claw robotic_wanking_claws buy cheap robotic wanking claws sex porn.

Play

Episode 58 – Not Safe For Work

In which our heroes discuss filth, porn, sexy times, Chessington Bubble Works, grot, jazz mags and 300 dicks.

Play

Episode 57 – Wasted Potential

In which our heroes abolish all anti-drug laws in sport, read out some incredible Robot Wars fan fiction, moan about millennials and extend an olive branch to David from Birmingham.

Play

Episode 45 – Sexy Robocop


In which our heroes accidentally show Skynet what they look like. Adam gives us some nutrition tips, Dan has a go on a Japanese sex robot and Graham points out that All Saints are definitely not a manifestation of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which is obvious. Of course they’re not. It’s not even worth discussing, forget we mentioned it.

Here are the links to the virtual sex suit:

http://www.refinery29.uk/2016/04/107922/virtual-reality-sex-suit

http://ir.net/news/vr-games-apps/124084/illusion-vr-sex-suit/

Play

Episode 41 – Rise of The J-Turn Sex Ninjas

In which our heroes grapple with technology. Graham desecrates monuments with wicked car stunts, Adam dresses as a ninja and wanks off outside someone’s front door and Dan gets his dick torn off playing rugby.

Play

Episode 38 – A Soggy Croissant

In which our heroes are a bit poorly and talk about the boring EU referendum, Deadpool and a wanking dolphin.

Play

Episode 37 – Technical Difficulties

In which our heroes go to the pub. The podcast fractures into two timelines like from Sliding Doors, Dan reports on a Spaniard who didn’t go to work for 6 years and Christopher from Dorset starts a listeners’ union.

Play

Episode 36 – Lesbian Step-Mum MILF

In which our heroes discuss how to end Bruce Forsyth’s killing spree, count down the UK’s official porn charts and end abruptly.

Play

Episode 32 – Naughty Santa’s Helper

In which our heroes learn about testicular valves, analyse Christmas porn stats and Dan sends some dick pics (from a submarine judging by his audio fidelity)

Play

Episode 28 – Circumcision Ambulance

In which our heroes discuss the colours of supermarkets, Graham drones on about San Andreas for ages, Adam gets radicalised and Dan learns about opposites.

Play

Episode 27 – Pyjamify This Top

In which our heroes launch the 2015 Two Star Podcast Christmas Advert, Dan wanks off dolphins with an eel, Graham transplants monkey testicles onto humans and Adam thinks about midgets.

Play

Episode 26 – A Totally Offensive Individual

In which our heroes endanger their lives with meat. Graham interacts with bigots, Adam moans about Windows 10 and Dan thinks about Muppet sex.

Play

Episode 25 – Outraging Public Decency

In which our heroes have a 40 minute gak-wank in a pub, Adam moans about Youtubers, Dan finds a wonderful R Kelly cover and Graham alienates Belgium.

Play

Episode 20 – A Journey of Terror

In which our heroes are bored by a computer game trailer, Adam teaches us about the world of My Little Pony fandom, Graham plays the worst song ever recorded and Dan makes cake in a mug.

If┬áthere’s something wrong with you and you want to see the links referenced in this episode then fill your boots:

Concentration Camp Ponies:
https://twitter.com/mlp_txt/status/600896363832942592

Pony Lube:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/224376017/pony-up-personal-lubricant-scented?ref=shop_home_active_1

Horrific Filth (DO NOT CLICK ON THIS):

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/12/okay_umsome_dude_accidentally_boiled_a_my_little_p.php

 

Play

Episode 18 – Daniel Mercer Memorial Episode

In which our heroes get progressively more drunk, Graham asks which rapper likes which crisps, Adam desperately tries to talk to everyone about Fast & Furious and Dan dies in a motorway pile up

Play

Episode 13 – 250,000 Pubes

In which our heroes have a wank in space, suck air into their bums and eat fourteen rolls of Sellotape
Play

Episode 7 – Epic Bantz

In which our heroes are joined by future fan favourite Dan, read horoscopes from a shit magazine, set fire to a thatched roof and achieve peak bantz
Play