Audio

Episode 112 – The Air Is Full Of Spices

In which our heroes once again speak ill of the dead. Graham sabotages Daniel’s next date, Adam plays XCOM, Daniel flings a poo on a roof and Chris is on holiday.

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Episode 111 – Dismembering The Dead

In which our heroes plan a funeral. Chris doesn’t pay attention, Adam talks nonsense about elves and Dan demonstrates a complete lack of knowledge about undertakers.

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Episode 110 – Why Did Dan Blush? Because the Seaweed (Gin)

In which our heroes do boring admin (on a beautiful spreadsheet), struggle at maths, plan Elton John’s Funeral and Disrespect the Wu Tang Clan (and Bruce Forsyth).

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Episode 106 – This Is Dan’s Life

In which our heroes finally talk about cake. Adam talks about the Ready Player One trailer, Chris makes guinea pigs swim, Graham places everyone under citizen’s arrest and Dan prepares for fingering.

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Episode 108 – Who Doxes The Doxmen?

In which our heroes make amends and learn all about Neil Morrissey. Chris buys some furniture, Dan begins a career in esports and Adam becomes a disciple of Khorne.

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Episode 107 – Technical Difficulties

In which Adam abandons his duties as responsible adult and as a result the children suffer severe technical difficulties.  They get their revenge by choosing a title that will annoy him and then stalk their newest superfan (JAMES FROM CRAWLEY) for about an hour.

To be honest, this is probably more of interest to the police as evidence than as an entertainment.

For those of you asking (no-one has asked), Graham’s silly parkour video is here:

Christopher’s (second and far superior) spoof survival video is here:

 

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Episode 104 – Dan Who

In which our heroes learn about opposites. Graham is befuddled by a Northern child, Chris bemoans the lack of West Country representation on TV and Adam is a racist. Dan is absent because he was fingerbanging a girl on a nightbus.

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Episode 105 – Russia By Gaslight

In which our heroes travel to far-away Nottingham. Adam can’t be bothered to edit out a washing machine, Chris colludes with the Russians and Dan definitely gets put in a bin.

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Episode 102 – Dirty Daniel and the Shoe Fetishists

In which our heroes plan a bespoke live episode for Dave from Birmingham, Chris seeks poo advice and remembers that he is friends with a pervert (not Graham!), Graham confesses to voyeurism and plagiarism and Daniel is a DIRTY, DIRTY BOY.

Edit – He played Gethin.

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Episode 101 – One-way Wasp Valves

In which our heroes communicate with the dead and an actual, real-life AMERICAN. Also: Adam spends his life savings on Lego, Graham gets bummed by a ghost, Dan remains blissfully unaware of his forthcoming joyride and Chris ventures onto a roundabout.

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Episode 99 ~ The Mild Exorcism of Christopher’s Lower Abdomen

In which Graham diagnoses what will kill Christopher to death, Adam tries to convince his animated corpse to go to a music festival and yet again they completely fail to record anything even remotely resembling a podcast.  THERE ARE DEFINITELY NO WORMS IN CHRISTOPHER’S POO!

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Episode 98 – Moors Murders: Tokyo Drift

In which our heroes sing about Roger Moore. Dan invents some awful sex toys, Graham unveils his new business venture, Adam buys some drugs, and Chris starts self-harming.

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Episode 97 – Drugs Earl

In which our heroes discuss Dan’s travel plans, lookup rude place names, launch burning foxes into food banks, entrap badgers and bully Adam into doing an accent.

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Episode 96 ~ Michael Portillo’s Closeted Cheese Board

In which our heroes gorge themselves on cheese, survive food poisoning and Graham looks forward to his inevitable decline into dementia; all topped off with a return visit to the first dates restaurant!

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Episode 94 – The Sound of Trains

In which our heroes go trainspotting. Graham suffers performance issues, Chris starts his own detective agency, Adam handles dead animals and Dan is on a train.

I apologise for the (even by our standards) poor quality audio of this week’s episode but it was stitched together from 18 separate source recordings and Dan lives in a trainyard.

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Episode 93 – Lidl Espresso Martini

In which our heroes have a Little Mix / Election special. Adam has technical difficulties, Graham makes yet another human centipede, Chris attempts damage limitation with regards to his professional reputation and Dan drinks too much cider.

Here is the Belgian music by Nino Debois to which we refer, it is lovely:
https://open.spotify.com/track/05iwD9UjRVOh2hYFNFIvPi

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Episode 92 – LADS special

In which our heroes attempt to be TOTAL LADS and MEGA TOP BLOKES for a whole episode by doing BANTZ and thinking about TITS and BEER.  We plan a new career for Ken Livingstone, offer PR advice to Pepsi, Adam does another car crash which is obviously his fault, Daniel reveals how John Major seduced him and Chris plans a brilliant prank on Graham.

 

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Episode 88 – Episode 89’s poorly conceived prequel

In which our heroes fantasise about a sweaty Daniel in tiny shorts, stalk a listener, create a classic comic character and enjoy a plethora of listener feedback.

Mostly this: http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/image/157657804219

 

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Episode 89 – Rotating Carousel of Prostitutes

In which our heroes are stood up by Adam. Chris does some DIY, Graham demands to know what ratio of goodie to baddie Martin McGuinness was and Dan laments never having fucked anything historic.

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Episode 85 – Roll For Fucking

In which our heroes play Dungeons and Dragons, Chris is replaced by a robot at several points, Graham recovers from his crippling bum disease and Adam starts a petition to ban the podcast.

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Episode 84 – Bus Wanker

In which our heroes are down to 2. Chris calls his wife Babes and Graham goes on the bus. Both call out David from Birmingham for being a Bad Friend.

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Episode 83 – Daniel’s Creepy D&D Sex Swing (AKA Episode 78 part 3)

In which our heroes solve racism, sign up to enter the crystal maze, do goat yoga and generally reminisce about the 1980s, Daniel constructs a woman trap and Graham goes beyond creepy.

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Episode 81 – Pumping Coleslaw Into Memes

In which Adam tries really fucking hard to edit out all the background noise but is thwarted by Dan banging around his room doing god-knows what for the entire recording.

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Episode 78 part 2 – The Never Ending Podcast

In which we meet our diversity quota, force Stavrina to become the mistress of Jacob Rees Mogg, join extremist vegans in plotting death to the west and enjoy our shared foreskin/medical toy fetish, all whilst Chris refuses to start or end the podcast properly.  FIGHT THE POWER!

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Episode 78 part 1 – Racist Bus Tours

In which our heroes are joined by superfan Stavrina who takes them on a racist tram ride.  Chris faints,  Graham drinks paint thinner, we set up a company to exploit racists, Stavrina learns who Jeremy Beadle is and reveals her bizarre toilet habits, all whilst  Adam gets increasingly frustrated with Chris for failing to start the podcast.

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Episode 77 – Jean Paul Gaultier’s Euro-Christmas

In which our heroes bravely struggle on without Dan. Graham argues with a Terminator, Chris takes some heroin and Adam brings down a major sports brand.

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Episode 76 – Twizzles Heskey

In which our heroes DDOS RateMyDick. Chris eats fancy coleslaw, Graham presents a caravan / robot quiz, Adam crashes his car and Dan tosses off over the Grand Tour.

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Episode 75 – Prosthetic Bellend

In which our heroes rate some more dicks, grow white-man dreads, eat banana & bacon trifle and take a moral stand

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Episode 74 – Enjoy My WAD

In which our heroes kind of phone it in because they can’t be expected to nail it every wek.

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Episode 73 – Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them

In which our heroes brave the Trumpian wasteland to record a podcast. Graham goes poo fishing, Chris comes out as gay, Adam spends $300 on a catalogue and Dan has sex with animals.

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Episode 72 – Up The Poo Alley

In which our heroes blind Ant McPartlin with paint, unveil the 2016 Two Star Podcast Christmas advert and call Nick Knowles a bellend.

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Episode 71 – Something’s Gone Wrong

In which our heroes rate dicks. Adam presents our US Election Special, Dan strangles a dog, Graham is vulgar and Chris jizzes in his #fartballoon

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Episode 70 – Dick Sneezes

In which our heroes start a sex rumour about footballers. Dan reports on a gay donkey, Adam nukes Texas and/or France, Chris sneezes and Graham makes plans to attend a sex robot festival.

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Episode 69 – Ribbing The Bonk

In which our heroes break the news and make the news. Chris wonders about Rimming, Dan slathers himself in Marmite, Adam blows up some phones and Graham does a poo.

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Episode 67 – That Shitty Podcast

In which our heroes discuss the Richard Curtis Multiverse, reneg on their hate crime plans, answer a listener’s letter about dirty protests and talk about TV programmes that aired many years before their average listener was born.

Here is the camera dildo:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013JSWZNE?th=1

Here is the video of a man drilling his iTelephone:
https://youtu.be/5tqH-Un9SFU

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Episode 66 – Three Days Late

In which our heroes celebrate their Paralympic success and forget to edit the podcast, which is why it’s only just been published.

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Episode 65 – Fluttering Kite

 

In which our heroes mourn the deaths of Adam and the Great British Bake Off, do some cyber bullying and adapt a modern classic

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