In which our heroes insult a listener, abandon a long-term podcast project, go on a speed awareness course and talk about toilets & poo for a very, very long time.
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In which our heroes buy booze and talk about Gangster’s Wives, the greatest film yet to be made
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In which Christopher advocates drowning children and possibly breaks the official secrets act and Graham recycles content from previous episodes. More is revealed about Graham’s new neighbour in a way that Adam would probably have prevented, so it is definitely his fault for not supervising.
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In which our heroes travel to Bangkok. Adam becomes a murderer for hire, Graham gets into a fight with a muscle man and Chris falls in love. Dan remains unaccounted for.
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In which our heroes drink some mysterious liquid which arrived by post, discuss cannibalism, Japanese trains & the Parisian helicopter prison break, and muse on the fact that IT’S COMING HOME
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In which our heroes ride the Megabus, dream about Jacob Rees Mogg and frequent glory holes
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In which our heroes look at pictures of tiny aeroplanes (yes, really, on a podcast) and plan a podcast outing. Graham disrespects the heroes of war and Chris and Dan make many single item lists.
There are no new years resolutions (which helps to approximately date this historical offering).
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In which our heroes go to a ginger wedding, have thoughts about things, bully Daniel into singing and Chris impresses everyone with his current up to date musical references.
PLUS – A story about Ruddy William.
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In which our heroes sit back, relax, and generally chill out. Graham makes himself a nice Gin and Tonic, Adam silences the annoying cats and cars in his life and Dan gets his dick out in the light of a burning dustbin to impress a lady.
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In which our heroes bang on about GDPR and Jumani, have a stress wank, invent a cocktail and find Dan a wife
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In which our two surviving heroes discuss films, “canon” and the misadventures of Sajid Javid. The train noises are 100% intentional
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In which our heroes discuss quality tv, wrestle with GDPR, discuss the local elections, debrief from their expedition into the countryside and conduct a scientific study into what constitutes a sea.
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In which our heroes wrestle with poor audio quality for the first 20 minutes. Adam plays fantasy government, Chris joins ISIS and Dan gets off his tits on ketamine.
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In which our heroes get under a towel, plan Graham’s death by (sexual) misadventure, stumble upon actual content, threaten multiple regicide, libel a twinkle and then use their excellent internet sleuthing skills to track another one down.
Editors note: this one is a real mess, but quite a funny mess.
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In which our heroes discuss bum disease, Graham speaks ill of Stuart Baggs the Dead Brand, Daniel continues to misunderstand veganism and Chris has a dirty weekend away with Michael Portillo
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In which our heroes bring down Facebook. Dan categorises all food into Vegan and Non-Vegan, Adam wanks on about Data Protection and Chris buys a new sofa made of hummus.
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In which our heroes explore veganism and terrorism, perform a comparative ethnography of Friends and revel in the snow.
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In which our heroes perform an offensive radio play, discuss cream teas (again), and Chris goes insane whilst editing it all.
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In which our heroes plan for the pornpocalypse by developing niche fetishes, serve notice to Ruddy William, talk about films and TV for ages and are sick in a Wetherspoons.
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In which our heroes suffer from the Mandella effect. Adam laments the lack of televised penises, Dan does some cooking, Chris talks about some of his favourite episodes from Friends and Graham freestyles a diss track about David from Birmingham with surprisingly adequate results.
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In which our heroes plan the first strike in Graham’s podcast insurgency. Dan gets down and dirty with the girl scouts, Adam gets into dirty videos and Chris just gets dirty in a toilet.
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In which our heroes are interviewed to figure out just what the fuck they’ve been up to lately.
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In which our heroes use a new recording platform, Chris gets taken into public ownership, Graham fails to reignite enthusiasm for the podcast war and they invent an excellent game (if you were in the same school and year as them). There is a hidden easter egg of Adam being intermittently bothered by a cat.
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In which our heroes learn about Blockchain. Adam talks about Jeff Bezos, Graham talks about a precocious 11 year old boy, Dan says something about millennials and Chris goes on about San Andreas for ages as if it’s episode 28.
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In which our heroes replace one Chris with another, explore Graham’s South-African-dar again, Graham talks quite a lot about boy bands, we discuss B*witched’s discography and discuss the shameful state of consumer technology. There is also beaver carnage.
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Hey hey podnobbers. Just a heads-up that Dungeons & Dickheads has a separate podcast feed now, in case that’s a thing that interests you.
Here is the RSS link: http://www.twostarpodcast.co.uk/dungeons
It will be in iTunes and that soon.
Anyway, bye.
In which our heroes look back on the year that was and make bold predictions about the year that will be. Can you believe we’ve been doing this nonsense for 3.5 years? The internet has a lot to answer for. See you all in 2018!
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In which our heroes continue their annual tradition of drinking too much and talking for too long. They discuss a woman biting off a man’s bollock, try and get onto the dark web and conduct Dan’s sexual harassment tribunal. Then Chris & Graham record a sort of Hollyoaks Later extension in which a huge amount of ethnic slurs are used.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (124.5MB)
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In which our heroes accidentally become genuine DnD nerds and there is a horrifying betrayal…….
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (67.6MB)
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In which our heroes are fucked up on gin. William from Suffolk is the esteemed guest. They try to do some maths and are generally incoherent.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (35.3MB)
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In which our heroes start some fires and battle monsters; the monsters inside themselves, the monsters we all must face. Also actual monsters.
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In which both Adam and Graham are away so Daniel is trusted with the buttons, Chris tries yet again to seduce him and they tackle the big issues like how to enjoy chocolate and which limb to amputate.
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In which our heroes sneak into a house. Graham & Dan dress up as sexy ladies and seduce a guard, Gemma make some other guards laugh and Chris dies, comes back and sits in jail.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (64.9MB)
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In which our heroes give up on trying to record a Dungeons & Dickheads episode and coerce a drunk Chris into buying a new computer.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (42.6MB)
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In which our heroes get into a bar fight. Dan does some tedious admin, Chris tries again to shit himself and Gemma & Graham drink way too much gin and don’t remember the latter half of the recording.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (68.8MB)
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In which our heroes contend with yet more IT problems. Graham detects South Africans from afar, Chris tries to get Graham to open up about a [REDACTED] experience with a [REDACTED] and Dan has horrendous actions from his past unearthed.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (30.1MB)
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In which our heroes spoil the joke. Dan nerds out about spaceships, Adam rants about Twitter, and the long forgotten remnants of Chris echo throughout the podcast.
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In Which Graham and Gemma share a microphone, Gemma has a sex dream, Daniel leaves our heroes to escape from prison and Christopher plays a secret game for the amusement of Christian from Scotland. Christopher then kills a guard in a very troubling way and then they all go to the pub.
Bard music is by Jack Wright, https://youtu.be/h-RIsgsmN1M
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (68.8MB)
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In which our heroes contend with shitty internet, award twinkle points, mock Dan for crap content and dream wondrous dreams
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In which our heroes are given their quest. Graham sweet-talks some guards, Dan begins a life of crime, Gemma swears a lot and Chris fails to shit himself.
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In which our heroes create their characters, which takes quite a long time and is quite boring. But we do some hilarious bants and that, so it’s defo worth listening.
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In which our heroes do a lot of admin and get the episode finished quickly to play DUNGEONS AND DICKHEADS, NEW FROM @TWOSTARPODCAST!!!
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In which our heroes once again speak ill of the dead. Graham sabotages Daniel’s next date, Adam plays XCOM, Daniel flings a poo on a roof and Chris is on holiday.
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In which our heroes plan a funeral. Chris doesn’t pay attention, Adam talks nonsense about elves and Dan demonstrates a complete lack of knowledge about undertakers.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (32.1MB)
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In which our heroes do boring admin (on a beautiful spreadsheet), struggle at maths, plan Elton John’s Funeral and Disrespect the Wu Tang Clan (and Bruce Forsyth).
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (40.6MB)
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Our heroes reveal the most hot sought after contest of the year and compare neo-Nazis to Cinderella for some daft reason.
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In which our heroes finally talk about cake. Adam talks about the Ready Player One trailer, Chris makes guinea pigs swim, Graham places everyone under citizen’s arrest and Dan prepares for fingering.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (55.6MB)
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In which our heroes make amends and learn all about Neil Morrissey. Chris buys some furniture, Dan begins a career in esports and Adam becomes a disciple of Khorne.
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In which Adam abandons his duties as responsible adult and as a result the children suffer severe technical difficulties. They get their revenge by choosing a title that will annoy him and then stalk their newest superfan (JAMES FROM CRAWLEY) for about an hour.
To be honest, this is probably more of interest to the police as evidence than as an entertainment.
For those of you asking (no-one has asked), Graham’s silly parkour video is here:
Christopher’s (second and far superior) spoof survival video is here:
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In which our heroes learn about opposites. Graham is befuddled by a Northern child, Chris bemoans the lack of West Country representation on TV and Adam is a racist. Dan is absent because he was fingerbanging a girl on a nightbus.
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