In which our heroes sign off on project completion. Chris plans for retirement, Adam starts a new job, and Dan ***** a lady with **** **** in *** ******* after serveral ******* ** ****.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:36 — 34.2MB)
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In which our heroes drink dark beer, remember being young & beautiful and plan to topple the statue of a historical villain.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:28:31 — 65.2MB)
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In which our heroes discuss the joys of quarantine, honest work (and whatever Adam does), fire and technical difficulties. Graham gets really rather excited by guns.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:17:05 — 55.9MB)
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In which our heroes delve into extreme body modification. Adam goes kite fighting, Chris is late for work, Graham enjoys some bukakke, and Dan fakes it with yoghurt.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:13 — 48.0MB)
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In which our heroes discuss lockdown, cousins and fondly reminisce about that time David Cameron fucked a pig. Chris snitches on his neighbours. Hadyn spawns.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04:59 — 49.3MB)
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In which our heroes do a quiz. Adam skateboards, Graham alienates his neighbours and Chris & Daniel have their guts entangled.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:20:49 — 60.7MB)
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In which our heroes scream into the void. Dan starts an OnlyFans, Chris has a Midnight Run, Graham examines his bum bones, and Adam lurks menacingly.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:45 — 30.5MB)
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In which our heroes bravely struggle against background noise. Adam explains what a thing sounds like twice. Chris verifies the accuracy of Adam’s description from personal experience. Graham finally understands. Everyone enjoys a happy memory. Dan was there but made no contribution.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:15 — 932.9KB)
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In which out heroes rank pasta and play a “fun” game.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:03 — 46.2MB)
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In which our heroes breach the lockdown. Dan sunbathes naked in a park, Chris forces unwanted eggs on children, Graham soils himself in meetings, and Adam becomes a 5G truther.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:58 — 43.8MB)
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In which our heroes reboot the podcast continuity. Chris eats a crumble, Dan laments his forbidden love and Graham draws triangles.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:11 — 47.3MB)
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This episode needs no explanation. WARMER COLDER. Someone might need to explain it to Dan.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:04 — 31.9MB)
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In which our heroes suffer audio maladies. Chris turns up late, Dan clips and echoes, and Adam is a free agent. Also in this episode, introducing new podcast member Will Nortico.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:10 — 35.2MB)
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In which our heroes save the economy and think about Big Men and Big Weather. Graham gets harassed by a waitress, Adam prepares to flee the country and Christopher starts a new career verifying children. Isn’t the weather lovely at the moment? When you think about it is actually lovely all the time. WEATHER IS GREAT.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:07:43 — 50.1MB)
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In which our heroes drunkenly reminisce about childhood holidays and Graham finally gets something off his chest.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 48:11 — 29.4MB)
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In which our heroes Queer Eye Daniel. Adam falls through a window, Daniel runs through one, Chris fails Dry January again and Graham shits himself… or does he?!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 59:04 — 45.8MB)
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In which our heroes are short-staffed due to scheduling issues. Adam hands in his notice and Dan builds a sex toy empire. This episode smells like my vagina.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:48 — 34.4MB)
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In which our heroes transport the listener to the distant past as a narrative device, and totally not because I couldn’t be bothered to edit it over Christmas
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 55:16 — 41.3MB)
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In which our heroes have technical difficulties. Chris is AWOL, Graham has a stalking relapse, Dan enjoys Friends, and Adam is deathly ill.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 48:06 — 35.8MB)
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In which our heroes form a boy band of ex Tory leaders, discuss problematic pooing and work on their job interview skills.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:11:35 — 53.6MB)
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In which our heroes talk about films and baths. Other stuff too mebbes, but Graham uploaded it without listening and can’t remember any details.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:55:15 — 83.4MB)
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Note: This is a repost of 173 because Dan linked the wrong audio and some feeds won’t update with the correct one.
In which our heroes discuss their upcoming holidays, complain about how shit things are and reflect on the latest techniques for keeping cool.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 44:30 — 32.2MB)
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In which our heroes investigate the mystery of why Chris woke up face down in the sea with no memory and no keys.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 53:28 — 42.2MB)
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In which our heroes have done actual production. Daniel plays Dutch netball, Adam discovers a mystery cable and Graham blurs the lines between encouraging Dan’s romantic endeavours and sexual harassment.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:07:39 — 54.0MB)
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In which our heroes apologise for everything. Dan goes to Glastonbury, Graham attempts to kidnap the Funhouse Twins, and Adam keeps forgetting to edit the episode.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 43:38 — 32.4MB)
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In which our heroes discuss what makes a pizza. Graham recalls pissing on his cat, Chris tells us about some corpses he saw, Dan types slightly less that usual and Adam is dead.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:21:25 — 61.1MB)
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In which our heroes discuss some elections, the very important subject of biscuits, and play Heroquest. Not gonna lie, the Heroquest stuff is not our best work. Some of our purest though…
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:08:13 — 67.5MB)
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In which our heroes have white privilege. Graham rants about razor blades, Adam wanks into a robot, and they rip off the format of an excellent podcast which is available at https://play.acast.com/s/offmenu
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:14:49 — 60.8MB)
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In which our heroes talk about fruit and vegetables for over an hour
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04:11 — 49.8MB)
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In which our heroes get divorced from Jeff Amazon. Graham drinks too much Dragon Soop and damages his heart, Adam has a vomit bath, Chris enjoys retired life and Daniel once again turns up late and drunk.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:40 — 49.7MB)
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In which our heroes become covered in shit. Some other stuff happens I think, I wasn’t really listening.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:38 — 45.3MB)
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In which Adam and Chris extract a confession from Daniel. Chris gets a new phone and makes inadvisable comments about the grooming habits of football men. Brexit is discussed and everyone just feels awful about the state of the world. But then Chris does a magic wee that cheers everyone up.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:21:04 — 57.9MB)
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In which our heroes are diminished but not defeated. Chris develops a scheme to profit from his inevitable political career and Adam has a lot of problems with semantics.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:26 — 43.8MB)
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In which the real episode 161 is so bad that Chris makes a clip show instead.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:06 — 38.2MB)
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In which our heroes do bad things with glove puppets and end up where they were about two and a half podcasts ago.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:33:18 — 66.7MB)
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I mean, the title pretty much says it all.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:21:47 — 59.0MB)
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In which our heroes look backwards and forwards at the same time. Dan gets some pussy, Chris gets withdrawal, and Adam gets technical.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:18:18 — 56.4MB)
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In which our heroes pilot an exciting new quiz format and harass Dan about his breadbin
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:04:28 — 50.7MB)
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In which our heroes drink a lot and are joined by Alastair from Nottingham
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 2:34:36 — 119.5MB)
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In which our heroes are reunited, start a quest together and possibly accidentally kill some completely innocent goblins.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:56:31 — 83.8MB)
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In which our heroes mourn. Graham and Chris go on a pub crawl and anger some “monks”, Dan does some tedious admin.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:10:56 — 53.8MB)
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In which our diminished and depleted heroes mourn the fires in Greece, possibly violate the Official Secrets Act, plot to throw Daniel in a canal, interview one of Graham’s neighbours and eat some really loud prawn crackers that I thought it was funnier not to edit out.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:01:23 — 46.2MB)
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In which our heroes plan their next holiday. Chris has a haircut, Graham is a Victim Of Crime, Adam recounts his time in an escape room and Daniel [inaudible due to train noise]
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 57:42 — 45.2MB)
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In which our heroes go on a side quest. Graham and Gemma are nowhere to be found while Chris and Dan hunt for treasure. Everything goes wrong.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:49:06 — 78.0MB)
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In which our heroes resurrect an episode long thought dead, but in doing so sacrifice Graham to the dark gods of hotel internet. We also talk about computer games and shit. There’s a lovely surprise in there too!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:29 — 16.4MB)
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In which our heroes learn about made up meals. Graham chooses bionic enhancements for his penis, Adam slanders a teacher and Chris recalls the time he shit his pants in a shop.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:52 — 49.2MB)
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In which our heroes escape. Dan returns to talk about wanking, Graham bids for project work and Adam talks about gnomes.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:03 — 33.9MB)
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In which our heroes solve terrorism. Graham dismisses Chris’ wine drinking, Chris dismisses Graham’s gin drinking and Adam gives thanks to Jesus that he doesn’t have to provide Chris with technical support.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 57:33 — 42.2MB)
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In which our heroes yet again fail to record anything resembling a podcast. Adam repays his debt to society, Graham disrespects other peoples sensitive information (AGAIN) and Christopher contemplates the moral maze of accidentally acquired children and boy monkey weeing. Also, face crabs.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 48:03 — 34.4MB)
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In which Christopher solves his computer problem. Adam recalls his (obviously homo-erotic) dream about Graham. Graham offends many women and Christopher with his crude language and everyone agrees on plans for white genocide.
PLUS – we launch an exciting listener competition.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:13:16 — 55.3MB)
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![Episode 170 – [loud breathing noise]](https://i1.wp.com/www.twostarpodcast.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Episode170Header.jpg?resize=672%2C200&ssl=1)
