In which our heroes once again speak ill of the dead. Graham sabotages Daniel’s next date, Adam plays XCOM, Daniel flings a poo on a roof and Chris is on holiday.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:38 — 40.5MB)
In which our heroes finally talk about cake. Adam talks about the Ready Player One trailer, Chris makes guinea pigs swim, Graham places everyone under citizen’s arrest and Dan prepares for fingering.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:54 — 55.6MB)
In which Adam abandons his duties as responsible adult and as a result the children suffer severe technical difficulties. Â They get their revenge by choosing a title that will annoy him and then stalk their newest superfan (JAMES FROM CRAWLEY) for about an hour.
To be honest, this is probably more of interest to the police as evidence than as an entertainment.
For those of you asking (no-one has asked), Graham’s silly parkour video is here:
Christopher’s (second and far superior) spoof survival video is here:
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:08:43 — 47.2MB)
In which our heroes learn about opposites. Graham is befuddled by a Northern child, Chris bemoans the lack of West Country representation on TV and Adam is a racist. Dan is absent because he was fingerbanging a girl on a nightbus.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:01 — 46.4MB)
Episode 103 was recorded on the 4th of July but it was really, really awful, even by our exceptionally low standards. As such, it will not be released.
Two Star Podcast Completists (TSPCs) who want to hear the recording may do so by pointing their internet at https://we.tl/Gu7awmCZMP, however Two Star Podcast management cannot accept responsibility for any boredom.
We’ll be back next week with Episode 104 which will be recorded in front of a live audience this weekend in Nottingham.
Peace out,
G, A, D & C
In which our heroes plan a bespoke live episode for Dave from Birmingham, Chris seeks poo advice and remembers that he is friends with a pervert (not Graham!), Graham confesses to voyeurism and plagiarism and Daniel is a DIRTY, DIRTY BOY.
Edit – He played Gethin.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:37 — 49.1MB)
In which our heroes communicate with the dead and an actual, real-life AMERICAN. Also: Adam spends his life savings on Lego, Graham gets bummed by a ghost, Dan remains blissfully unaware of his forthcoming joyride and Chris ventures onto a roundabout.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:57 — 56.0MB)
In which Graham diagnoses what will kill Christopher to death, Adam tries to convince his animated corpse to go to a music festival and yet again they completely fail to record anything even remotely resembling a podcast. Â THERE ARE DEFINITELY NO WORMS IN CHRISTOPHER’S POO!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:17 — 46.6MB)
In which some things happen that no-one can remember because it was so long ago. Â Maybe our heroes went on dates with old men. Â Probably there was the Rock. Â There was some horror with a dildo.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:19:55 — 59.4MB)
In which our heroes gorge themselves on cheese, survive food poisoning and Graham looks forward to his inevitable decline into dementia; all topped off with a return visit to the first dates restaurant!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:12 — 50.0MB)
In which our heroes go trainspotting. Graham suffers performance issues, Chris starts his own detective agency, Adam handles dead animals and Dan is on a train.
I apologise for the (even by our standards) poor quality audio of this week’s episode but it was stitched together from 18 separate source recordings and Dan lives in a trainyard.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:32 — 24.8MB)
In which our heroes have a Little Mix / Election special. Adam has technical difficulties, Graham makes yet another human centipede, Chris attempts damage limitation with regards to his professional reputation and Dan drinks too much cider.
Here is the Belgian music by Nino Debois to which we refer, it is lovely:
https://open.spotify.com/track/05iwD9UjRVOh2hYFNFIvPi
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:01 — 54.2MB)
In which our heroes attempt to be TOTAL LADS and MEGA TOP BLOKES for a whole episode by doing BANTZ and thinking about TITS and BEER.  We plan a new career for Ken Livingstone, offer PR advice to Pepsi, Adam does another car crash which is obviously his fault, Daniel reveals how John Major seduced him and Chris plans a brilliant prank on Graham.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:34 — 37.8MB)
In which our heroes fantasise about a sweaty Daniel in tiny shorts, stalk a listener, create a classic comic character and enjoy a plethora of listener feedback.
Mostly this:Â http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/image/157657804219
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:09:39 — 54.4MB)
In which our heroes are stood up by Adam. Chris does some DIY, Graham demands to know what ratio of goodie to baddie Martin McGuinness was and Dan laments never having fucked anything historic.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:14:53 — 64.8MB)
In which our heroes recall the past, attempt to predict the future, develop a relationship on ratemydick.net, identify a bellend of the week, fight off the norovirus, discuss flying whorehouses and did a fun quiz!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:21:20 — 78.2MB)
In which we meet our diversity quota, force Stavrina to become the mistress of Jacob Rees Mogg, join extremist vegans in plotting death to the west and enjoy our shared foreskin/medical toy fetish, all whilst Chris refuses to start or end the podcast properly. Â FIGHT THE POWER!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:09:30 — 51.8MB)
In which our heroes are joined by superfan Stavrina who takes them on a racist tram ride.  Chris faints,  Graham drinks paint thinner, we set up a company to exploit racists, Stavrina learns who Jeremy Beadle is and reveals her bizarre toilet habits, all whilst  Adam gets increasingly frustrated with Chris for failing to start the podcast.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 59:35 — 43.7MB)
In which our heroes discuss the Richard Curtis Multiverse, reneg on their hate crime plans, answer a listener’s letter about dirty protests and talk about TV programmes that aired many years before their average listener was born.
Here is the camera dildo:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013JSWZNE?th=1
Here is the video of a man drilling his iTelephone:
https://youtu.be/5tqH-Un9SFU
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:23 — 43.8MB)