In which our heroes start to plan their apocalypse survival strategy. Adam dicks about in the virtual realm, Dan moves funds off-shore and Graham continues his adventures as an American truck driver
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:28 — 43.1MB)
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In which our heroes mourn another victim of Bruce Forsyth, reveal that Barry Chuckle probably isn’t actually a racist and read Thomas the Tank Engine erotic fanfiction. YES, REALLY.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 48:52 — 36.6MB)
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In which our heroes blaspheme. Graham reports on Barry Chuckle’s racist views, Adam is OUTRAGED that Easter has been BANNED and Dan names a ship.
The audio quality in this episode is frankly a disgrace so, like, sorry for that and shit.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:07 — 30.4MB)
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In which our heroes grapple with technology. Graham desecrates monuments with wicked car stunts, Adam dresses as a ninja and wanks off outside someone’s front door and Dan gets his dick torn off playing rugby.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:19 — 26.9MB)
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In which our heroes haven’t bothered to record an actual episode so have just compiled the three least shit bits from previous episodes. Except the play, that goes on too long. You might want to stop listening about 15 minutes in.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 32:26 — 21.3MB)
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In which our heroes are a bit poorly and talk about the boring EU referendum, Deadpool and a wanking dolphin.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 45:32 — 30.9MB)
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In which our heroes go to the pub. The podcast fractures into two timelines like from Sliding Doors, Dan reports on a Spaniard who didn’t go to work for 6 years and Christopher from Dorset starts a listeners’ union.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:32 — 31.0MB)
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In which our heroes discuss how to end Bruce Forsyth’s killing spree, count down the UK’s official porn charts and end abruptly.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:34 — 35.9MB)
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In which Christopher from Dorset has isolated Dan’s side of Episode 35 for reasons best known to him.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:51 — 6.6MB)
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In which our heroes try to stop Bruce Forsyth from killing again, attempt to understand the US presidential elections and discuss XCOM 2 what is coming out on the computer soon.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:16 — 39.3MB)
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In which our heroes design a robot to win Robot Wars, despair at the new R Kelly album and forensically examine Dan’s love life
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:07 — 35.5MB)
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In which our heroes listen to ukulele rap music, decide the Oscar winners and hack into submarines.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:54 — 35.3MB)
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In which our heroes learn about testicular valves, analyse Christmas porn stats and Dan sends some dick pics (from a submarine judging by his audio fidelity)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 36:02 — 33.6MB)
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In which our heroes train Dan to be a terrible human being (Pick Up Artist), Adam reports live from CES 2016 and Graham hates children.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 45:58 — 42.7MB)
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In which our heroes discuss which celebrity will die first in 2016, review the ongoing war effort and give Dan dating tips.
Here is a link to the quiz what we done: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-30500372
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:06:07 — 61.1MB)
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In which our heroes say what was the best stuff of 2015, declare war on another podcast and listen to the drunken ramblings of a pair of morons.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:02 — 55.5MB)
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In which our heroes discuss the colours of supermarkets, Graham drones on about San Andreas for ages, Adam gets radicalised and Dan learns about opposites.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:10 — 52.0MB)
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In which our heroes launch the 2015 Two Star Podcast Christmas Advert, Dan wanks off dolphins with an eel, Graham transplants monkey testicles onto humans and Adam thinks about midgets.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:25 — 39.4MB)
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In which our heroes endanger their lives with meat. Graham interacts with bigots, Adam moans about Windows 10 and Dan thinks about Muppet sex.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:21 — 43.9MB)
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In which our heroes have a 40 minute gak-wank in a pub, Adam moans about Youtubers, Dan finds a wonderful R Kelly cover and Graham alienates Belgium.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 44:59 — 41.8MB)
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In which our heroes discuss David Cameron’s swine-based hobbies. Adam attaches balloons to bears, Daniel destroys Germany and Graham persuades the others to form a human centipede with him.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:05 — 45.5MB)
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A disappointing 4.5 minutes of filler material so you don’t think we’ve forgotten about you, you needy bastards.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:21 — 4.0MB)
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In which our heroes bootleg Ribena, Graham has a genuinely good idea for a film, Adam finds love at Ashley Madison and Dan is infested by lizards.
Oh, I forgot. Here’s the link to the zombie tin can video life hack thing in case you care:
http://diply.com/lance2015/did-you-know-you-can-open-cans-without-a-can/163008
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 51:55 — 48.1MB)
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In which our heroes pilot an exciting new quiz show format, Adam becomes an illegal migrant, Dan is kidnapped and made to go fishing, and Graham eats crisps.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:30 — 43.1MB)
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In which our heroes spin shit into gold. Adam is languishing in a Spanish prison so Graham learns about the Kardashians and Dan has a little breakdown.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:05:04 — 60.1MB)
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In which our heroes are bored by a computer game trailer, Adam teaches us about the world of My Little Pony fandom, Graham plays the worst song ever recorded and Dan makes cake in a mug.
If there’s something wrong with you and you want to see the links referenced in this episode then fill your boots:
Concentration Camp Ponies:
https://twitter.com/mlp_txt/status/600896363832942592
Pony Lube:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/224376017/pony-up-personal-lubricant-scented?ref=shop_home_active_1
Horrific Filth (DO NOT CLICK ON THIS):
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/12/okay_umsome_dude_accidentally_boiled_a_my_little_p.php
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 40:15 — 37.4MB)
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In which our heroes finally cook and eat beef bacon and the world’s most Yorkshire man turns up for no reason that’s any of your business, if I invite strangers into my house while I record a podcast then that’s up to me. Get off my case. My daughter talks on it too because I couldn’t be arsed to edit it. Just be glad we’ve even bothered to do this episode you bunch of bloody ingrates.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 17:37 — 16.7MB)
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In which our heroes get progressively more drunk, Graham asks which rapper likes which crisps, Adam desperately tries to talk to everyone about Fast & Furious and Dan dies in a motorway pile up
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:53 — 59.1MB)
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In which our heroes diagnose Graham’s brain illness, discuss vacuum cleaners and Adam regurgitates an orphan
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 44:54 — 41.7MB)
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In which our heroes break out the emergency backup episode number while they desperately try and get good enough for Episode 17, do a diamond heist and Dan incessantly types and clicks his mouse in the background, despite having been repeatedly told not to
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:00 — 48.2MB)
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In which our heroes do some minty farts, give a fan advice on how to woo the object of his desire and make soup out of ladybirds
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:23 — 43.9MB)
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In which our heroes become the new hosts of Top Gear, talk at great length about poo and Dan purchases an award winning B&B in Abergavenny
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 46:59 — 43.6MB)
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In which our heroes unearth a rare recording of the lost Scottish edition of Fun House, Dan fries an egg for a stranger off the Internet and Adam refuses to say anything other than “Mr. Milkshake wants to eat a yum yum”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 41:43 — 38.8MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:00 — 45.4MB)
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In which our heroes perform a play about bodybuilders doing maths, create some donut-hybrid confectionery and infiltrate & destroy the Scouts
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 47:13 — 43.8MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 42:53 — 39.8MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 45:32 — 42.3MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:03:39 — 58.8MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:11:24 — 65.9MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 53:19 — 49.4MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 54:47 — 50.7MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:47 — 91.7MB)
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In which our heroes slander a billionaire, battle and ultimately destroy the forces of evil, and strangle a badger
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 40:03 — 37.2MB)
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 53:43 — 49.8MB)
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In which our heroes learn about Melanie & Martina from Fun House and become amphibious.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:31 — 52.3MB)
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