All posts by Dan

Episode 282 – Nul Point for Mr Mercer

In which our heroes eventually get round to reviewing their 2023 predictions and make some new ones about 2024.  Not before discussing the socio-religious importance of circumcision and also  orgy logistics.

Episode 261 – Procedurally Generated Obscenity

In which our heroes take both sides on Phillip Schofield, fondly recall Chris’ past as a predatory salesman, refuse Pascal’s wager, speculate on Dan’s potential as a white collar criminal, and then put various machine learning thingies on the internet through their horrific paces.

Episode 256 – Trilogies

In which our heroes quiet quit over Christmas, discuss the valuable cleansing effects of Lashmas and Dragon Soop.  They then settle down to wax nostalgic about the first lockdown, and plan their survival in the upcoming revolution.  Next is appreciation for Anna Kendrick, and the tricky business of film trilogies.

Episode 244 – Trains, Nicknames and Tattoos

In which our heroes discuss Adam’s unfortunate experiences with the trains, badger Dan into getting a better nickname, talk about tattoos they’re never going to get,  and then have a nice chat about the F1.  Finally, Chris embarks on some product placement.

Episode 242 – The Events

In which our heroes discuss the unfolding Ukraine crisis, surprisingly without bad taste or judgment, reflect on the ongoing Events in the UK.  Then Chris gets kidnapped or something and Adam and Dan feel bad for a bit then abandon him.  He’s probably fine?

Episode 241 – I feel a bit guilty calling this a podcast but I guess it is

In which our heroes discuss Prince Charles’s hands, validate that Dan hasn’t died of covid, ratify some eggs, and foray into court reporting on the Wagatha Christie case.

Episode 237 – 437

In which our heroes gather for the three hundred and twenty eighth time to ratify some eggs, abuse Dan for being bad at technology, work out when Chris could realistically date Michael Portillo, and review progress on dry January

Episode 227 – Believe

In which our heroes discuss the merits of the performance enhanced Olympics, Chris attempts to invent a game show, and everyone reflects on the deep processes behind how we come to believe in anything.  Handled with taste and class as always

Episode 224 – Horse Camoflage

In which our heroes discuss the perfect drinks to drink in the shower and the perfect food to eat in the bath.  After a brief segue through masturbating and the weather, they then move onto camouflaged horses and being electrocuted in the bath.  Key issues all.

Dungeons and Dickheads IN SPACE: Episode 4

In which our heroes recover from the night before, buy more bigger guns, have an excursion to a Wales-sized asteroid, and break some things mostly on purpose.

Episode 219 – Pants

In which our heroes discuss Graham’s descent into the petit bourgeoise via the medium of pants, discuss politics and accompanying space lasers, and play a fun game of Jew or Not Jew.  The website wasn’t anti-Semitic, we did check.

Episode 214 – Role Reversal

In which our hero Chris suffers from a split personality, Dan is late and discusses his family, we have opinions on Cyberpunk 2077 and generally shit up the place.  There’s also a critical comparison of the filmographies of Keanu Reeves and Rob Schneider, and what constitutes a national treasure.  Also cheese.  You’ll never be more popular than cheese.

Episode 207 – Dead Within a Week

In which our heroes reminisce about past holidays, discuss the risks and benefits of e-scooters, and discuss their gatecrashing of other podcasts.

You can see our holiday photos at Google Photos, if you would like to reminisce about a thing you did not do.

Episode 203 – The Wheelbarrow of Sadness

In which our heroes work through a tortured metaphor for life, the universe and everything. Chris gets naked and argues about Billy Bragg, Caitlin Moran and superinjunctions, and Graham rejoices in The Rock

Episode 201 – Problematic

In which our heroes perform a hate crime via the medium of a radio play, arrange expeditions onto other podcasts and reminisce about the sheer quality of our work.  They also review some of the “comments” on the “blog” and make a detailed scientific study of cryptids.

Graham insisted I include a link to the Bel Air thing  https://youtu.be/WAfJpyBgcgA

Episode 194 – Graham Gets Excited

In which our heroes discuss the joys of quarantine, honest work (and whatever Adam does), fire and technical difficulties.  Graham gets really rather excited by guns.

Episode 187 – Look We Tried Alright

In which our heroes discuss lockdown, cousins and fondly reminisce about that time David Cameron fucked a pig.  Chris snitches on his neighbours.  Hadyn spawns.

Episode 177 – I Kind Of Had To

In which our heroes transport the listener to the distant past as a narrative device,  and totally not because I couldn’t be bothered to edit it over Christmas

Episode 168 – Election Fever

In which our heroes discuss some elections, the very important subject of biscuits, and play Heroquest.   Not gonna lie, the Heroquest stuff is not our best work.  Some of our purest though…

Episode 144 – Or 145. Who can say?

In which our diminished and depleted heroes mourn the fires in Greece, possibly violate the Official Secrets Act, plot to throw Daniel in a canal, interview one of Graham’s neighbours and eat some really loud prawn crackers that I thought it was funnier not to edit out.

Episode 139 – Graham Died

In which our heroes resurrect an episode long thought dead, but in doing so sacrifice Graham to the dark gods of hotel internet.  We also talk about computer games and shit.  There’s a lovely surprise in there too!

Episode 136 – Train Noises

In which our two surviving heroes discuss films, “canon” and the misadventures of Sajid Javid.  The train noises are 100% intentional

Episode 135 – Young Twostar

In which our heroes discuss quality tv, wrestle with GDPR, discuss the local elections, debrief from their expedition into the countryside and conduct a scientific study into what constitutes a sea.

Episode 123 – Beaver carnage

In which our heroes replace one Chris with another, explore Graham’s South-African-dar again, Graham talks quite a lot about boy bands, we discuss B*witched’s discography and discuss the shameful state of consumer technology.  There is also beaver carnage.

Episode 109 – In Which Daniel Sneaks In Under The Deadline

Our heroes reveal the most hot sought after contest of the year and compare neo-Nazis to Cinderella for some daft reason.

Episode 91 – Not Just A Myth

In which some things happen that no-one can remember because it was so long ago.  Maybe our heroes went on dates with old men.  Probably there was the Rock.  There was some horror with a dildo.

Episode 79 – Thankfully shorter than 78

In which our heroes recall the past, attempt to predict the future, develop a relationship on ratemydick.net, identify a bellend of the week, fight off the norovirus, discuss flying whorehouses and did a fun quiz!