Episode 239.5 – Prime Minister Special (Remastered)

In which our heroes pay tribute to the office of Prime Minister of the United Kingdom (but not the men and women who have actually filled it)

This is the second attempt at uploading after summat gone mashup


Episode 237 – 437

In which our heroes gather for the three hundred and twenty eighth time to ratify some eggs, abuse Dan for being bad at technology, work out when Chris could realistically date Michael Portillo, and review progress on dry January


Episode 236 – Marxist Fart Farmers

In which our heroes, without Graham, discuss NFTs, donkey milk, Marxism, pre decimal coinage and farts in a jar.


Episode 234 – An Entirely Fungible Life

In which our heroes listen as Graham declares his last will and testament, Graham talks about toxic masculinity, Graham talks about people call Graham, Graham starts following chess and Graham unveils the podcast Christmas advert


Episode 233 – Letras de Cancións en Estranxeiro

In which our heroes remember Adam who is dead then play a game which draws on their knowledge of the foreign language and, as such, doesn’t work very well.


Episode 230 – That’s What Jesus Said

In which our heroes carry out the rebranding of Dan (reDanding). Graham takes to a life of piracy, Chris loses someone’s kneecap, Dan sings songs about fanny and Adam enables all of this.


Episode 228 – No More Two Star Podcast Listeners

In which our heroes, in lieu of any #content or original ideas, play No More Jockeys again.

Some technical difficulties have resulted in some sounds appearing in the recording which, to the untrained ear, may sound like disgusting burps but are actually very technical glitches that you wouldn’t understand. We apologise.


Episode 227 – Believe

In which our heroes discuss the merits of the performance enhanced Olympics, Chris attempts to invent a game show, and everyone reflects on the deep processes behind how we come to believe in anything.  Handled with taste and class as always


Episode 224 – Horse Camoflage

In which our heroes discuss the perfect drinks to drink in the shower and the perfect food to eat in the bath.  After a brief segue through masturbating and the weather, they then move onto camouflaged horses and being electrocuted in the bath.  Key issues all.


Episode 231 – Dirty Protest

In which our heroes discuss the invention of Dirty Protests, the philosopher Diogenes (yes, really!) and Supermarket Substitutions.  No Daniel.


Episode 226 – The Dave From Birmingham Timeline

In which a failed show-trial descends into chaos, the possibility that this isn’t the worst timeline is discussed and Chris arrives late to discuss a film he vaguely remembers and to defend the honour of Ruddy William.


Dungeons and Dickheads IN SPACE: Episode 6

In which our heroes reflect. Dan gets drunk, Chris falls in love with paperwork, and Graham tries to seduce a grieving woman.

This is the last episode in the current campaign of Dungeons & Dickheads IN SPACE. Thank you for listening and we’ll be back soon! In the meantime why not have a listen to The Dice Chronicles Podcast and see if they can fill the void we’ve left in your life.


Episode 225 – The Moon Under Water with John Robbins

In which our heroes ape the fantastic @moonunderpod created by @nomadicrevery and @robinallender. They each describe their perfect pub and specify two draught drinks, two bottles & a wildcard, ban something and choose an album for the jukebox.


Dungeons and Dickheads IN SPACE: Episode 5 – Part 1

In which our heroes rush in. Someone gets shot, someone gets tied up, and someone briefly contemplates pissing on a bed.

This episode was originally over 3 hours long so we’ve split it into two parts. Part 2 coming soon!


Dungeons and Dickheads IN SPACE: Episode 1

In which our heroes arrive on Tycho Station in search of space drugs. Chris makes a new friend, Graham threatens several people, and Dan attempts to bribe everyone.


Dungeons and Dickheads IN SPACE: Episode 0

In which our heroes prepare to embark on a new adventure. Dan is a space Tory, Chris works to bring down the government from within, and Graham really wants to punch someone.

The game we will be playing is The Expanse RPG from Green Ronin


Episode 223 – Famous for 15 Quid

In which our heroes play an excellent Cameo-based guessing game, shamelessly lifted from the vastly superior @15_quid


Episode 221 – Nipples of The Rich & Famous

In which our heroes are on film. Dan steps up his OnlyFans output, Chris mourns the death of Prince Philip, Adam despairs, and Graham ices some nipples.


Episode 220 – Hadyn Bevan: Permanent Rumspringa

In which our heroes check if Chris has been radicalised and finally address the elephant in the room by going after the Greek Orthodox and Amish Churches.


Episode 219 – Pants

In which our heroes discuss Graham’s descent into the petit bourgeoise via the medium of pants, discuss politics and accompanying space lasers, and play a fun game of Jew or Not Jew.  The website wasn’t anti-Semitic, we did check.


Episode 218 – The Ruttles Wrote OK Computer

In which our heroes are joined by LeAnn and LuEllen from The One With Friends Podcast (@theonewithPOD). The main subject is the best & worst cameos & supporting roles on Friends, but given that the episode is nearly 2 hours long, you can probably guess that we go off on some tangents and ramble incoherently for a while.

Give it a listen, even if you’re an idiot like Dan and hate Friends, you’ll still enjoy it.


Episode 217 – Olfactory Brown Note

In which our heroes contemplate lockdown. Chris speedruns Dry January, Graham teaches his children a lesson, Dan steals food from the NHS, and Adam watches Danish TV.


Episode 216 – New Year Extravaganza

A bumper episode to see in the new year.  In which Graham pays an outrageous £35 for a haircut and remembers some childhood trauma and our heroes reminisce about the before times when they were allowed outside to do big drinking.  Once sufficiently sad and drunk they make predictions for 2021.


Episode 215 – Pushing A Corpse Off A Gantry

In which our heroes wonder about Todger Strunk, are rude about (white) South Africans, invent a game about national slurs, think about the sex life of John Major and Graham plagiarises Billy Connolly.


Episode 214 – Role Reversal

In which our hero Chris suffers from a split personality, Dan is late and discusses his family, we have opinions on Cyberpunk 2077 and generally shit up the place.  There’s also a critical comparison of the filmographies of Keanu Reeves and Rob Schneider, and what constitutes a national treasure.  Also cheese.  You’ll never be more popular than cheese.


Episode 213 – Murder Preferences

In which our heroes celebrate International Men’s Day. Adam contracts COVID-19, Graham solves a crime, Dan plans a crime, and Chris ranks some counties.

This weeks episode of the Two Star Podcast is brought to you by malaise. Malaise, it’s why this took a month to edit.


Episode 212 – Piss Slits

In which our heroes solve America’s problems then play slang term bingo. Graham seems to be in a cupboard.


Episode 211 – No More Erection Drugs

In which our heroes fantasise about owning a pub, feel sad and worried about how awful the world is, play a stolen game (no more jockeys) and Chris stumbles across an ingenious drinking loophole.


Episode 210 – Young Enough for Donald Trump to Want to Fuck

In which our heroes stay in bed and play a bootleg version of Richard Osman’s Birthday Game, during which Dan makes an incorrect allegation about Michael Vaughan and people are younger than Graham thinks.


Episode 209 – The G Is Always Hard

In which our heroes are buried alive. Dan is late, Chris has a lot of questions, Graham flees the city, and Adam tampers with some recordings.

Don’t forget you can join our Discord server here: and support us on Patreon here:


Episode 207 – Dead Within a Week

In which our heroes reminisce about past holidays, discuss the risks and benefits of e-scooters, and discuss their gatecrashing of other podcasts.

You can see our holiday photos at Google Photos, if you would like to reminisce about a thing you did not do.


Episode 206 – Ranked Sex

In which our heroes are halved. Adam plays football while Dan swims. The crushing weight of reality bares heavy upon them.


Episode 205 – The One With The One With Friends Podcast

In which our heroes join LeAnn and Luellen from The One With Friends Podcast (@theonewithPOD) to discuss S2 E6 – The One With The Baby On The Bus. They stay largely off-topic and give the girls a heck of a time trying to edit it down to a tight 40-50 minutes. Here’s the director’s cut with nothing omitted, regardless of how uninteresting it is.

Note: Graham was gravely ill with a mild cold when we recorded this which is why he sounds all bunged up.

Here is the monkey trying to steal the child:


Episode 204 – A Retraction (of sorts).

In which our heroes attempt a retraction, have million dollar ideas , Dan is late AGAIN and Graham complains about the youth of today.


Episode 203 – The Wheelbarrow of Sadness

In which our heroes work through a tortured metaphor for life, the universe and everything. Chris gets naked and argues about Billy Bragg, Caitlin Moran and superinjunctions, and Graham rejoices in The Rock


Episode 202 – Ploppy Pants Special

In which our heroes do an Ali (by which I mean shit themselves). Daniel shits his pants, Chris shits his pants, Adam shits his pants and Graham shits his pants.