KICK OUR BEEF

Hey podfans! Our Kickstarter thing is now LIVE and you can help us achieve our dream of eating beef bacon! Pledge £50 and Dan will nosh you off! (Kickstarter don’t let you put sex acts as official pledge rewards which is stupid really, considering that’s the ultimate goal of anyone using Kickstarter to back any project of any kind.)

THIS IS A LINK TO THE KICKSTARTER THING, YOU CAN CLICK ON IT IF YOU LIKE BUT DON’T FEEL OBLIGED, I MEAN YOU ONLY GET THIS FUCKING PODCAST FOR FREE EVERY BLOODY FORTNIGHT (OR THEREABOUTS)

Episode 14 – Press Gang Special

In which our heroes unearth a rare recording of the lost Scottish edition of Fun House, Dan fries an egg for a stranger off the Internet and Adam refuses to say anything other than “Mr. Milkshake wants to eat a yum yum”

Episode 13 – 250,000 Pubes

In which our heroes have a wank in space, suck air into their bums and eat fourteen rolls of Sellotape

Episode 12 – Antiwaffle

In which our heroes perform a play about bodybuilders doing maths, create some donut-hybrid confectionery and infiltrate & destroy the Scouts

Episode 11 – Benda Blaster

In which our heroes fix the Oscars, give Dan his probation review and tickle some pigs

Episode 10 – Beef Bacon

In which our heroes pull some pork, insert alarm clocks into their various orifices and commandeer a military submarine to enter and win the Americas Cup

Episode 8 – Christmas Special

In which our heroes launch the podcast Christmas advert, poo in some shops and save a bus full of nuns from certain, fiery death

Episode 7 – Epic Bantz

In which our heroes are joined by future fan favourite Dan, read horoscopes from a shit magazine, set fire to a thatched roof and achieve peak bantz

Episode 6 – Egg Club

In which our heroes make the Internet a wonderful, harmonious place, bang on about Formula E for ages and use their particular set of skills to look for Liam Neeson, find Liam Neeson and hit Liam Neeson

Episode 5 – Buff Fungus

In which our heroes celebrate Australia Day, preview the new Formula E series and apply brute force to Ian Botham’s willy

Episode 4 – Indian Egg Rice

In which our heroes learn how to stay safe on-line and discuss buckets of ice, and Graham travels through time in a failed attempt to prevent Adam’s murder

Episode 3 – Occult Powered

In which our heroes slander a billionaire, battle and ultimately destroy the forces of evil, and strangle a badger

Episode 2 – 2 Two Star 2 Podcast

In which our heroes uncover the shocking truth about how [REDACTED] took a [REDACTED] and stuck it right up a [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] in front of the [REDACTED] with a bowl of figs on the Scottish edition of Fun House, recite all the Fast & Furious movies verbatim and discover the importance of triple redundancy

It's four blokes talking about stuff. Look, we're not hurting anyone, just leave us be.