Episode 145 – Eggs, Eggs and More Eggs

In which Christopher advocates drowning children and possibly breaks the official secrets act and Graham recycles content from previous episodes.  More is revealed about Graham’s new neighbour in a way that Adam would probably have prevented, so it is definitely his fault for not supervising.

Play

Episode 143 – General Dan’s Penis Regulations

In which our heroes travel to Bangkok. Adam becomes a murderer for hire, Graham gets into a fight with a muscle man and Chris falls in love. Dan remains unaccounted for.

Play

Episode 142 – Chris Juice

In which our heroes drink some mysterious liquid which arrived by post, discuss cannibalism, Japanese trains & the Parisian helicopter prison break, and muse on the fact that IT’S COMING HOME

Play

Episode 122 – Flying Banana Boats

In which our heroes look at pictures of tiny aeroplanes (yes, really, on a  podcast) and plan a podcast outing.  Graham disrespects the heroes of war and Chris and Dan make many single item lists.

There are no new years resolutions (which helps to approximately date this historical offering).

Play

Episode 138 – Constipated Politics

In which our heroes go to a ginger wedding, have thoughts about things, bully Daniel into singing and  Chris impresses everyone with his current up to date musical references.

PLUS – A story about Ruddy William.

Play

Episode 140 – The Two Star Podcast Chillout Room

In which our heroes sit back, relax, and generally chill out. Graham makes himself a nice Gin and Tonic, Adam silences the annoying cats and cars in his life and Dan gets his dick out in the light of a burning dustbin to impress a lady.

Play

Episode 134 – Good Things Come To Those Who…

In which our heroes wrestle with poor audio quality for the first 20 minutes. Adam plays fantasy government, Chris joins ISIS and Dan gets off his tits on ketamine.

Play

Episode 133 – Hotel Asphixy Wank Death

In which our heroes get under a towel, plan Graham’s death by (sexual) misadventure, stumble upon actual content, threaten multiple regicide, libel a twinkle and then use their excellent internet sleuthing skills to track another one down.

Editors note: this one is a real mess, but quite a funny mess.

Play

Episode 132 – Graham caught IBS and so can you

In which our heroes discuss bum disease, Graham speaks ill of Stuart Baggs the Dead Brand, Daniel continues to misunderstand veganism and Chris has a dirty weekend away with Michael Portillo

Play

Episode 131 – Meat Does Not Shatter

In which our heroes bring down Facebook. Dan categorises all food into Vegan and Non-Vegan, Adam wanks on about Data Protection and Chris buys a new sofa made of hummus.

Play

Episode 129 – Fairly Conventional Nipples

In which our heroes plan for the pornpocalypse by developing niche fetishes, serve notice to Ruddy William, talk about films and TV for ages and are sick in a Wetherspoons.

Play

Episode 127 – The Mull of Kintyre Test

In which our heroes suffer from the Mandella effect. Adam laments the lack of televised penises, Dan does some cooking, Chris talks about some of his favourite episodes from Friends and Graham freestyles a diss track about David from Birmingham with surprisingly adequate results.

Play

Episode 126 – Girl Scout Diss Tracks

In which our heroes plan the first strike in Graham’s podcast insurgency. Dan gets down and dirty with the girl scouts, Adam gets into dirty videos and Chris just gets dirty in a toilet.

Play

Episode 125 – PODCAST TERRORISM!

In which our heroes use a new recording platform, Chris gets taken into public ownership, Graham fails to reignite enthusiasm for the podcast war and they invent an excellent game (if you were in the same school and year as them).  There is a hidden easter egg of Adam being intermittently bothered by a cat.

Play

Episode 124 – Welsh Bull Fighting

In which our heroes learn about Blockchain. Adam talks about Jeff Bezos, Graham talks about a precocious 11 year old boy, Dan says something about millennials and Chris goes on about San Andreas for ages as if it’s episode 28.

Play

Episode 123 – Beaver carnage

In which our heroes replace one Chris with another, explore Graham’s South-African-dar again, Graham talks quite a lot about boy bands, we discuss B*witched’s discography and discuss the shameful state of consumer technology.  There is also beaver carnage.

Play

Episode 121 – End of The Year Review

In which our heroes look back on the year that was and make bold predictions about the year that will be. Can you believe we’ve been doing this nonsense for 3.5 years? The internet has a lot to answer for. See you all in 2018!

Play

Episode 120 – CHRISTMAS PARTY!

In which our heroes continue their annual tradition of drinking too much and talking for too long. They discuss a woman biting off a man’s bollock, try and get onto the dark web and conduct Dan’s sexual harassment tribunal. Then Chris & Graham record a sort of Hollyoaks Later extension in which a huge amount of ethnic slurs are used.

Play

Episode 119 – Ruddy William Special

In which our heroes are fucked up on gin. William from Suffolk is the esteemed guest. They try to do some maths and are generally incoherent.

Play

Episode 118 – The Dan and Chris Show Episode 1 (Pilot)

In which both Adam and Graham are away so Daniel is trusted with the buttons, Chris tries yet again to seduce him and they tackle the big issues like how to enjoy chocolate and which limb to amputate.

Play

Episode 117 – Technical Assistance

In which our heroes give up on trying to record a Dungeons & Dickheads episode and coerce a drunk Chris into buying a new computer.

Play

Episode 116 – Bumifications

In which our heroes contend with yet more IT problems. Graham detects South Africans from afar, Chris tries to get Graham to open up about a [REDACTED] experience with a [REDACTED] and Dan has horrendous actions from his past unearthed.

Play

Episode 115 – Echoes of Christopher

In which our heroes spoil the joke. Dan nerds out about spaceships, Adam rants about Twitter, and the long forgotten remnants of Chris echo throughout the podcast.

Play

Dungeons & Dickheads Part III

In Which Graham and Gemma share a microphone, Gemma has a sex dream, Daniel leaves our heroes to escape from prison and Christopher plays a secret game for the amusement of Christian from Scotland.   Christopher then kills a guard in a very troubling way and then they all go to the pub.

Bard music is by Jack Wright, https://youtu.be/h-RIsgsmN1M

Play

Episode 112 – The Air Is Full Of Spices

In which our heroes once again speak ill of the dead. Graham sabotages Daniel’s next date, Adam plays XCOM, Daniel flings a poo on a roof and Chris is on holiday.

Play

Episode 111 – Dismembering The Dead

In which our heroes plan a funeral. Chris doesn’t pay attention, Adam talks nonsense about elves and Dan demonstrates a complete lack of knowledge about undertakers.

Play

Episode 110 – Why Did Dan Blush? Because the Seaweed (Gin)

In which our heroes do boring admin (on a beautiful spreadsheet), struggle at maths, plan Elton John’s Funeral and Disrespect the Wu Tang Clan (and Bruce Forsyth).

Play

Episode 106 – This Is Dan’s Life

In which our heroes finally talk about cake. Adam talks about the Ready Player One trailer, Chris makes guinea pigs swim, Graham places everyone under citizen’s arrest and Dan prepares for fingering.

Play

Episode 108 – Who Doxes The Doxmen?

In which our heroes make amends and learn all about Neil Morrissey. Chris buys some furniture, Dan begins a career in esports and Adam becomes a disciple of Khorne.

Play

Episode 107 – Technical Difficulties

In which Adam abandons his duties as responsible adult and as a result the children suffer severe technical difficulties.  They get their revenge by choosing a title that will annoy him and then stalk their newest superfan (JAMES FROM CRAWLEY) for about an hour.

To be honest, this is probably more of interest to the police as evidence than as an entertainment.

For those of you asking (no-one has asked), Graham’s silly parkour video is here:

Christopher’s (second and far superior) spoof survival video is here:

 

Play

Episode 104 – Dan Who

In which our heroes learn about opposites. Graham is befuddled by a Northern child, Chris bemoans the lack of West Country representation on TV and Adam is a racist. Dan is absent because he was fingerbanging a girl on a nightbus.

Play

Episode 105 – Russia By Gaslight

In which our heroes travel to far-away Nottingham. Adam can’t be bothered to edit out a washing machine, Chris colludes with the Russians and Dan definitely gets put in a bin.

Play